Sunday, July 20, 2008

Paz

Aunt Ann & Aunt Rosie (my mom)

Peace.

It's six hours ahead here so I waited most of the afternoon to hear from my mom. Finally at 3:00 I called her and she told me she just got a call from the hospital saying that Aunt Ann's blood pressure was dropping. My mom was staying at a hotel across the street so went right over. Shortly after that Aunt Ann's kids came too, my cousins. They were all with her when she passed away. She was lucky to be amongst people who love her and to have a relatively quick and painless death. No extraordinary measures were taken to save her, as they were told to do so would mean a very poor quality of life for her. If she were to make it at all. I respect, with all my heart, the decisions that my cousins and mom made. Every choice they made was in the best interest of a good life for Aunt Ann. I got the call that she passed when I was at the beach... the only thing I could think to do was swim, which somehow made me feel connected to the part of the world of which I am familiar.

What I will miss the most about Aunt Ann are the stories she would tell about my mom. When my mom was born Aunt Ann was 9 years old. My grandma was on her way to the hospital to give birth to my mom. She told my aunts, Rachel and Ann that she was going to come home with a surprise. Aunt Ann thought my mom would be a puppy... she always teased about how sad she was to this day that my mother wasn't a puppy. Seven years later they lost their mother and five years after that their father. My mom was only twelve. Ann and Rae raised her for the remainder of her "childhood" and did the best they could for her. My mother remains the only sister left of the three, Aunt Rae passed about 20 years ago.... I still miss her... we all do.

I would do anything to be able to hold my mom and cry with her right now. I can only imagine the loneliness she must be feeling. My family is very small, but tight in spirit. most of use don't see each other often and are scattered across the US... mostly the east coast, but my brother is in Colorado and here I am in Spain...

How did I get here again?

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