Saturday, March 29, 2008


It's been a while since I have written anything here. So much has been going on and I have been so busy, it's not that I haven't been writing, I have, I just haven't felt ready to share. This week was rather intense though and I guess it's time to write some. Tuesday, March 25th, Ken and I became legally separated. It was a strange feeling, we walked into that hideous city office building and found ourselves a notary. After signing all 4 copies, we sat outside on a bench for a bit, neither one of us knowing what to say..."thanks?", "it's been real?", "have a good life?"...ummmm so we left and hugged good-bye. What a bizarre feeling when both sides know it's for the best and the thing is we don't even hate each other... I mean I have no doubt we have our moments of anger or maybe even hate, but most of the time, we don't hate. I feel fortunate. We always said that if our marriage came to an end we would remain as amicable as possible and I feel like we are truly doing that.

So that was Tuesday, Wednesday I saw my mom who was up from Florida just to help a friend move from Fort Lee, NJ to Florida. Arlene, mom's friend, has been a friend to my family since before I was born. She was a secretary to my dad back in the day. Funny how she and my mom have remained friends throughout all these years. She makes me laugh and I'm glad my mom has a good friend like that.

Thursday... the last day for my Len Ct house to be mine... the closing. Sadness and relief all rolled into one. I am grateful we were able to sell and I am pleased that the new owners seem so happy about buying it. They are a lovely couple, with two beautiful children. The children came to the closing and even though they are just 2 and 4, they were perfectly behaved... I was so impressed. I feel good knowing that such a lovely family will be living in my Len Ct. haven. I always thought that house deserved a family... any family would be lucky to live in such a wonderful place... funny how it's just not for me anymore, even though I still have love in my heart for it.

Friday... TGIFF!!!! What a week and I didn't even mention the chaos throughout my school day!!

But alas... Friday... on this day I handed in a letter to my Director requesting a one year leave of absence so that I can study Spanish and teach English as a Second Language (ESL). I've already signed up for language school in Valencia, Spain for July and am searching for the right online class to take for ESL certification. I'd need to do something different for a year, as much as I love my job, it's very exhausting and has an extremely high burnout rate... I'd like to go back, but for now I need a break before I get to the point of no return and wind up hating every day as some of the teachers I know. I couldn't bare that.... I need to love what I am doing otherwise how will I be any good to the myself or the kids?

Finally, happy hour amongst friends, colleagues, people with whom I have a mutual respect... Lots of laughs and positive thoughts... sure we bitch and moan, but when I'm at work and I need something, these are the people I know have my back... each one of them. We are there for each other like a well-oiled machine. We all bring something unique and important to our program. When we are out together, I can feel our strength and so can others (and not just because we are loud and rowdy)... we are warriors, fighting for the kids no one else will fight for. Loving them, respecting them, influencing them and sometimes even making a difference. I love my job and am so grateful to be part of this team..... but enough already!!!! I need a break!!!!

And through all this change, I found my hope stone, it had been missing for a while and I knew it couldn't be far. Ironically, Thursday night it was returned to me after having clogged Karen's washer... it was a bit battered, but still beautiful. I told her how many times this stone has come back to me. Including when I lent it to a man who really needed it. Although the man returned the stone to me, I hadn't seen that man again until last night, the day after I saw the stone again.... weird right? Well he, Eric, joined us for dinner and there were 6 of us and we ate lots and he, quite generously, picked up the tab... I was shocked, so I once again offered him the hope stone, assuring him I didn't need it because at the moment, I am full of hope!!!!!!! I hope that was thanks enough.

Whoa what a week! Is it July yet?